Review | Fly on the Wall by e. lockhart

Goodreads

182 Pages

lol I’m like 90% positive this description is longer than the book ahhhh . . . (you already knowwww what kind of review this is about to be)

At the Manhattan School of Art and Music, where everyone is unique and everyone is ‘different’, Gretchen Yee feels ordinary. It doesn’t help that she’s known as the girl who sits alone at lunch, drawing pictures of her favourite superhero, just so she won’t have to talk to anyone. Her best (and only real) friend is there for her, but that’s only if she’s not busy – she’s always busy! 

It’s no surprise that Gretchen isn’t exactly successful in the boy department. Her ex-boyfriend is a cold-fish-sometimes-flirty ex who she can’t stop bumping into. Plus, she has a massive crush on a boy named, Titus but is too scared to make the first move. One minute he seems like a sensitive guy, the next, he’s a completely different person when he’s with his friends. She can’t seem to figure boys out!

Gretchen has one wish: to be a fly on the wall in the boy’s locker room. What are boys really like? What do they talk about?


I haven’t really talked about it much since I started blogging on here, but me and e. have a long history:

We Were Liars came out when I was in high school, and I just remember the huge buzz about it (nonono, not in my school, on the internet — our school YA section consisted of around 20 books because, like, three people read in that school while the rest either played football or pretended to be interested football, anyway . . . all of our school funding went to football because why not). WWL was one of the few books my high school library acquired. So, I was bored. I didn’t want to buy a book that was barely 100 pages and decided to check it out.

Little did I know that WWL would be my absolute, least favorite read of my entire high school career, if not my entire life up to this point. There are a million reasons why I hated it (yes, it takes a lot for me to hate a book, but I sure do hate WWL!), but that’s for another time. Because today, boys and girls, we’re reviewing Fly on the Wall by e. lockhart (all lowercase for maximum edge, of course).

Did I think it would happen? Did I think I’d ever pick up another one of her books? No. But do to the prodding of the amazing Sara, I am here now . . . writing you this rant review. So, enjoy. Or not. I don’t really care at this point, I’m so frustrated with this book.

WARNING: This is going to be ranty and have spoilers. Be advised.

Let’s start off with the positives:

  • It’s short (and not being advertised as a novel, which a lot of these 25pt font, double spaced YA books seem to be doing these days)
  • It ends

Everything else:

So, essentially the plot is of a girl who is the “awkward” one in an “all awkward” school, so you know she is definitely “not like other girls, but even more so” (none of those were direct quotes, but you get my point).

Oh! And did I tell you she likes Spiderman? BeCausE if I DIDn’T aLreadY, I’m sORrY. SHe liKES sPiDErmAn, okay? do NoT foRgET tHaT SHE IS A SPidER-LoVIng gIRL WHo DRawS aNd iS nOT liKe ThE OthER giRLs bEcause SHE liKEs spiDErMAn sO MUcH AnD cAN draW OkaY? (And if you forget just read the book and they’ll remind you every paragraph.)

So, this girl. Wants a boyfriend. Wishes to be a fly in the boys locker room. Becomes fly. Throw in a little divorce, and you’ve got yourself a published story. BOOM. (not a proven method, kids. please DO NOT try at home.)

Yes. That’s it. 66.6repeating% of the book is her watching naked boys in a locker room.

Okay, I can get behind a book making people comfortable with talking about their body and sexuality. I get it, okay? But, of course, to make the audience aware and actually learn we’re going to call all of the body parts by their anatomical names, right? Because surely “penis” isn’t a bad word or a word we should avoid because the main character claims to have seen 110 of them, right?.

No? No? Just me? Okay.

I made a key for you, so when you read this book (please do not) you don’t get confused:

gherkin = penis

booty = butt

biscuits = breasts

Besides the fact of what it’s trying to do (and ultimately, very badly, fails at), it’s essentially

about a stalker girl watching

guys get naked and knowing everyone’s

dick size and personal problems

by the end in order to get enough

confidence to ask her crush

out.

(who is also awkward and not like the other kids).

(Sorry about that part up there being so broken up! I was just taking some inspiration from how 50% of the book is written.)

The end, guys! That’s my review!

Oh wait, the book is also about Title IX and unequal sized locker-rooms in a New York City school, and dealing with divorce, and a mom that randomly goes on vacation and who we never meet again, and Bean Curd something dolls, oh and coming out, and building confidence when you’re skinny, and bullying — all in a matter of 182 pages. But of course I don’t want to try and cram too much in such little space here! So, I’ll end it there.

Rating:

Please don’t read this book

What’s the worst book you’ve ever read? Let’s chat int he comments!

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THE READER CONFESSION TAG

The Reader Confession Tag

Woo! This should be fun!

Have you ever damaged a book?

Haha, yes! I remember when I was reading Cinder by Marissa Meyer I was so into it that I took it out to eat with my family at a Mexican restaurant. I can’t remember if it was on the table or if I was reading it when the the glass of water spilled…

How long does it take you to read a book?

Oye. That REALLY depends. Since I’ve been in school and are an English Literature major, books that aren’t assigned can be anywhere from 1 to 2 weeks, maybe longer (because school is always first, kids). If I’m assigned a book, I’ll always try to make the deadline. Since I’ve been out, I’ve been averaging about 4 daysish to 2 weeks per book, depending on the length and how into it I am.

I’m not the kind of reader who feels pressured to finish books quickly, as I like to really enjoy them. But, it really just depends on the length and how into it I am. I will often read a chapter or two, set a book down, do something else, and come back to it.

Books that you haven’t finished?

Ha! Okay:

City of Bones by Cassandra Clare

Eldest by Christopher Paolini

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

I’m sure there are a lot more, as I went through a phase in middle school where it seemed no books were really pleasing me, but those are what I can think of right now,

Hyped/popular books you don’t like?

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

We Were Liars by E Lockhart

Is there a book you wouldn’t tell anyone you were reading?

Not really. There are some genres I want to explore that I don’t think I would call up my mom and tell her I’m reading and have a chat about it, but I frankly don’t care what people think, haha.

How many books do you own?

No idea. Sorry. Maybe, like, 25 to 30 right now? I’m about to move, so I purged a lot.

Are you a fast or a slow reader?

Medium, I guess. Like I said above, it really just depends. Rarely do I finish a book in a day, though.

Do you like to buddy read?

I have never tried it, but would like to!

Do you read better in your head or out loud?

In my head, most definitely. In my head, I can do whatever I want.

If you were only allowed to own one book, what would it be and why?

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger.

I feel that book has a lot of things to learn from it, most of it just doing the opposite of what the main character does. But, I feel it has a lot of value, and I think it’s a book everyone should read.

Final Comments:

Well, that was super fun! Thanks to Sara @ The Bibliophagist for tagging me!

I tag

Rebecca @ Bookishly Rebecca

Cody @ Peaceful Oblivion

Best,

Daniel

The Book SACRIFICE! TAG

Well, well, well. Why not start off my first tag with a tag riddled with unpopular opinions? Haha!

This tag was originally started by my favorite BookTuber Ariel Bissett!

Rules: It’s simple! Choose a book that you are willing to sacrifice in each scenario!

SCENARIO #1

An Over-Hyped book: Let’s start this off with a Zombie Apocalypse! Let’s say you’re in a book store, just browsing, when BAM! ZOMBIE ATTACK. An announcement comes over the PA System saying that the military has discovered that the zombies’ only weakness is over-hyped books. What book that everyone else says is amazing but you really hated do you start chucking at the zombies knowing that it will count as an over-hyped book and successfully wipe them out?!

ANSWER #1

I’m bound to receive some backlash from this, BUT IT MUST BE DONE. I shall wipe the zombies WITH…

City of Bones by Cassandra Claire

City of Bones

In short…I just really don’t get the hype. I couldn’t make it past page 200 with this one. It is also hard for me to support an author who I cannot respect (but SHHH…we’re not supposed to talk about that).

 

Scenario #2

A Sequel: Let’s say you’ve just left the salon with a SMASHING new haircut and BOOM: Torrential downpour. What sequel are you willing to use as an umbrella to protect yourself?

Answer #2

While I did attempt to read this one quite awhile ago, I still have not forgotten it.

Eldest by Christopher Paolini

Eldest

loved ERAGON. As a matter of fact, I highly relate it to the reason of how I started liking fantasy. However, Eldest was just a bore fest.

 

Scenario #3

A Classic: Let’s say you’re in a lecture and your English teacher is going on and on about how this classic changed the world, how it revolutionized literature and you get so sick of it that you chuck the classic right at his face because you know what? This classic is stupid and it’s worth detention just to show everyone how you feel! What Classic did you chuck?

Answer #3

Everyone had to read this at some time or another, I’m sure. So, I’m sure someone out there can agree with me on this one.

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Great Gatsby

I think the over-pronounced symbolism that the teacher constantly tried to tell us existed in this book made me dislike it so much. Eh. Disagree or no?

 

Scenario #4

Your least favourite book of life!: Let’s say that you’re hanging out at the library when BAM global warming explodes and the world outside becomes a frozen wasteland. You’re trapped and your only chance for survival is to burn a book. What is the book you first run to, your least favourite book of all life, what book do you not fully regret lighting?

Answer #4

Okay…this one is a big one. While it is rare that I utterly HATE a book, this is one of them.

We Were Liars by E. Lockhart

We Were Liars

OH MY GOODNESS I HATE THIS BOOK SO MUCH!! There I said it…it’s on the internet now and forever documented. I have no idea how this book got as much hype as it did. This book, in my opinion, was an utter waste of my time to read, 99% because of the ending, 1% because I just couldn’t handle the writing style or the main character.

Either way, if you’re a fan of this book, that’s fine. Maybe you can find an argument to change my opinion.

 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Well, I hope this doesn’t steer you away from this blog. Hahahahaaaaa.

Anyway…you can buy any of the books mentioned by typing them into Google, because I refuse to link them directly. Ha.

I think I’m supposed to tag people, but I don’t really know a lot of people on here yet. But, we’ll get there!

But, do keep in mind that this is just an honest opinion of an English Major.

Best,

Daniel xx